If I Had a T.A.R.D.I.S.

I know the first rule of time travel is not to go talk to your past self. Come on, you know if you had the ability to time travel, you’d run back to yourself as a kid and tell yourself about all the cool things that are going to happen in your life. And not to worry about that algebra, because it was really pointless (unless you grew up to be a mathematician or rocket scientist).

My past self may not believe that I moved to L.A. and lived there for twenty years. Or that I am fortunate enough to travel to places like San Francisco, New York and Las Vegas on a regular basis. Or that I can do a handstand in yoga (some days).

And my teen self would be blown away by all the concerts I’ve seen. And that I’ve actually met and chatted with musicians whose work I enjoy.

I’d love to tell that Junior High Geek me, who was very upset that his mom wouldn’t let him skip school to see Return of the Jedi opening day, that I skipped work to see the last two prequels. (Of course, I won’t share how bad they were, you don’t want to burst the poor kids bubble that soon).

I remember as a kid seeing ads for the San Diego Comic Con in the advertising pages of comic books, as well as Marvel Comics Bullpin page. It sounded like the coolest thing ever. But so far away. Could you imagine my delight if my future self popped into my room and told me to be patient, because when I grew up, I’d be going to the San Diego Comic Con EVERY SINGLE YEAR! Of course, first I’d probably have to snap my young self out of the shock of an older me showing up unannounced in my room. But I digress…

Hey past me, not only do I go to the San Diego Comic Con every year, I go as a professional. Maybe I’ll lie to my past self and tell me I write for Batman, and not a kids comic book for hemophiliacs.

But wait, there’s more. I even wrote a musical about the whole dang thing! And that musical is going to be produced in Hollywood. No, I didn’t write the music, somebody else did that for me. Of course I wrote the lyrics, remember our dead dog song, or our parody of J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold” called “Banana Mold”? No, I don’t still play the clarinet.

The past me has lots of questions.

But alas, I have no T.A.R.D.I.S or a space ship that can slingshot me around the sun. The past me just has to dream of the future I’m making a reality. And I guess that’s not so bad after all.

Wait, and 60 year old me just popped up in my apartment while I was typing this. I’ve done what in the past 20 years!?!? I better go. I’ve got lots of questions for this guy.

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